30.5.10 @ 23:29
4 comments!

I have this plant. It just sits in my room and doesn’t ever do anything. I suppose it grows. Bit by bit, one green leaf at a time. Besides stealing my oxygen it really just takes up space. It doesn’t make me happy. I tend to avoid looking at it out of guilt. I’m neglectful of it and it haunts me. There are nights I wake up in a panic feeling the spindly (but surprisingly strong) vines wrapped around my neck. I wouldn’t say I’m intentionally trying to kill it I’m just not putting any effort forward to see it live. Not like it matters. This plant would be able to weather a house fire and come out of it singed but holding on. I only water it when the guilt becomes too much. Once I ‘accidently’ over watered then left the room quickly. Nope it just won’t die. In fact the smallest amount of water perks the darn thing right up and spurs it on to life again.

Today I noticed some of the leaves were yellowing and others had withered and died. Ihad a moment of charity so I plucked and pruned until it looked healthy again. Then it hit me. Like a full body collision with Oprah at her heaviest. This annoying, spunky, stubborn piece of greenery was just like me. Stay with me. I know how lame it sounds. But listen; sometimes I feel like a waste of space. Like it doesn’t matter what I do or saybecause ultimately it won’t matter. No one really cares? I don’t look after myself. Not like I’m supposed to anyway. I eat too much or I don’t eat at all. I listen to lies about myself: I’m ugly, fat, dumb, invisible…

When I take the time to do something good for myself I feel better; I perk right up. When I pull off the dead stuff I not only look better but I feel different and have room to grow agian. The boyfriend that doesn’t seem to even like me or the friends that drag me down are like the dead leaves. Once they’re gone the whole picture is different. We all have an inner voice that lies and bullies us. Would we really put up with a friend who tells us we’re fat and useless? The obvious answer is no we shouldn’t.

I don’t know about you but today I’m going to do a little bit of gardening. I could use some extra watering and attention. If I’m still feeling inspired I may even do some weeding. There are somethings in my life that can certainly go. I may even paint my toe nails. Hot pink. With one red pinky. Just because.

@ 16:47
2 comments!

23.5.10 @ 21:55
1 comments!

I believe that we are all supposed to help each other. That the whole concept of "survival of the fittest" should be left for the apes. Life is hard and it's tough and it's beautiful and should be shared and if we really were meant to battle it out alone, why not kill our asses? 6.7 billion people are covering the earth at this moment. 6.7 billion people who are capable of thought and deciphering what is right and wrong. We have a brain and we carry emotions and we can tell when we are hurting someone. I believe we have these feelings for a reason and that they should be used. What seperates humans from the apes is free will and the capability of freethinking to decide over ourselves. Life is no longer just about survival; it's more than that. We can actually help and support people on the way. I may sound like a broken record or one of those charity commercials but why not take a small part of your life to help make others a bit better. I just think that the world would be such a better place if the ones who could, supported the ones who couldn't. Nowadays people are quick to spend 25cents for a cheesy toy out of a machine, yet never have any loose change for the homeless. No one understands equality. Truth be told, we live in a selfish hateful world where people are too quick to judge one another; yet we're all human. We all make mistakes and sometimes, some don't live to see tomorrow because of it. Does that make it fair? And jesus, i know life is unfair, but this is fucking ridiculous. 

17.5.10 @ 21:17
2 comments!

14.5.10 @ 21:54
0 comments!

Out of all the things this world has come to, some of them just find themselves in a whole different catagory. In simple terms, we are single-handily wrecking our own planet and for all of you believers, we are destroying everything "god" created and i don't mean to start a whole load of tree-hugger-green-peace crap but come on, really? Not only that, but other things such as music for example. How do drunk whores outsell members of Nirvana and Led Zepplin; I remember when real life musicians, and i mean the real deal, not preteen sluts that sell records, made lots of money making music. It's really sad how they can put any face infront of a mic, just to sell, sell, sell. What happened to thought, and charisma. Nowadays, those that try really hard and believe in their music can't get noticed because fake prettys are all society wants to hear. Just this, reminds me of what this world is coming to. Is there anyone who is truly genuine or are we are made of cardboard boxes on a baseball diamond soon to strike out?

9.5.10 @ 22:07
0 comments!