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stepping out of this place
21.9.09 @ 21:32
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i dont feel like i know myself anymore. i was comfortable being the shy quiet girl that always did as she was told. it didn't really matter because i knew who i was. it was this safe place that i could always somehow return to it. but now that im stepping out of this place, i dont know and that scares me.

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heart.
13.9.09 @ 13:35
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" Louise. "
" Yes? "
" Thank you. "
" For what? "
" Being in my life. "
<3

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girlfriends and the way we secretly sabotage them
12.9.09 @ 15:34
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I have friends. No I am not a sorry loser without anyone to talk to- I blog for other reasons. I do have friends. They are a great source of comfort and strength. I need them and I respect them. You see I have grown and matured. Those who know me well might wish to argue that point but as this is my blog I get to ignore you and be mature. Hmm, the irony of my immature outburst is not lost on me. Moving on.
I used to be manipulative, scheming and ungrateful. I’m going to cast away my pride and be truthful. Bare bones, to the point, in a painful way-truthful. Judge if you wish but I know better. Most of you, if you were to cast away the masks of cultural conformity you wear, would have to admit to some if not all of my revelations about girls.
When I was younger I wanted my friends to be fat. Mmmhhh. I didn’t want to be the only one. I wanted them to have as many eranious zits as I had. (honestly, I only had a few but they did manage to do some damage). I wanted the boy they like to like me and I never wanted to tell them when their hair looked bad. Before you all log out and deem me a horrid, vengeful and selfish friend let me continue. I wanted and wished all of those things but I was still a good friend. I did offer suggestions on a bad hair day and I ate chocolate bars along with them. I watched in silence when a boy I liked danced with my friend and I kept my mouth shut and didn’t laugh when break outs occurred.
I would just like to put it out there in this vast cyber space of unlimited resources, that girls are not always the nicest; even to those we call friends.
What is my point? I actually have one. Don’t feel bad when a nasty thought sneaks into your mind. Don’t act on it (have you seen ‘Mean Girls’) let it come and go as a natural occurance in the grand scheme of femine growth. One day the urge to push your gorgeous, well rounded friend down a flight of stairs will diminish. Once we realize that girls really need to stick together and support one another in this crazy world we will find the essence of true friendship; unconditional acceptance.
After all the one thing we all long for and often look for in the wrong places (the arms of a user male) is acceptance. Perhaps if we can find it in each other rather than the opposite gender we might dam up the flood of casual sex that is over taking this generation. Let face it girlfriend, casual sex is only benefitial for the dude that is on the recieving end. We girls were meant for far more that drive-thru casual/meaningless romps.

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beautiful you..?
3.9.09 @ 20:36
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im immensely, vastly, hugely, intensely, acutely, singularly, uncommonly, unusually, decidedly, particularly, supremely, highly, remarkably, really, truly, mightily, terrifically, awfully, terribly, devilishly, majorly, seriously, mega, ultra, damn, damned, ever so, real, mighty, awful, way, darned, gosh-darn tired of it. im pretty sure the picture above gives you a slight hint as to what im on about. i give myself crap to what i look like and i want to dissapear because never have i ever just accepted what i look like. and why is it that society has taught us to hate ourselves, change ourselves, outdo ourselves, to look like that? why do we have to look like that? why does THAT have to be the perfect body? that all guys want and girls strive for? why thousands of girls everywhere go into depression and starve into nothing but bones that look like they're about to snap when you see them walking down the street. i think its finally starting to rub off on me or hit me in the face or whatever its doing. either way, im done. i dont want to eat anymore;

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