23.11.09 @ 17:42
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I’m lying on the couch, dead tired, and can’t decide whether to take a nap or watch TV. That 70’s show is on, it’s one of my favorites, although I couldn’t help but drift asleep. At 16.24, an incoming text startles me back into reality. I stare at the TV in stupefaction and my eyes beg to close. One split second by the other, texts flood in with a constant ringing that my ears cannot handle. The phone wins and in a sigh i get up, walk into the kitchen, and find a little blonde-headed seven-year-old girl humming to herself whilst drinking a glass of milk, swinging her legs at the end of a kitchen chair. Surprisingly, I ignore the little girl completely.

A large thud sounds. I bolt back into the TV room to find an old wooden door standing in the middle of the wall, one that was certainly not there before. My breathing turns heavier yet before I know it I am sitting on the couch again…watching that 70’s show. The door was still there.

The little girl wanders in and out of my presence constantly. She gets older and older; her hair grows longer and carries more make up on her petite face. She keeps entering the unknown door and staying for long masses of time. I eat dinner with my family, wondering of what the door holds. I never ask about the girl, she is simply there. After dinner, I sit down to watch That 70’s show. A sudden urge comes over me and I had to know the contents of the door. By the time I decided to get up I had already fallen asleep again.

With an immense gasp I wake up the girl has her hands wrapped around me screaming, there is blood coming from her eyes, hair dripping wet clinging to her face, she is shaking and screeching, she is begging me, begging me. In a jolt I wake up in sweat, the screech fades into nothing but an echo and I am left…watching that 70’s show. I am so scared. I look down at the remote, literally waiting for it to walk away. Tears try to find their ways out of my eyes but they just cant reach. I am paralyzed in fear and the TV’s colors just appear duller minute by minute. They soon reach a sepia color. Slowly the room begins to change and I am panting, my eyes bloodshot watching everything transforming into something it wasn’t. I only remember the screeching of the girl in my head, nothing else. I begin to cry. I begin to scream cry. I pick up the glass table in front of me and with all my power haul it at the TV where it shatters with a deafening impact. I didn’t care what I my dad would think, I took pots, books, and kept throwing watching things break apart and transform as I worked. I want to wake up; I’m tired of this dream. Using my hands I began to dig into my eyes trying to open them, but they would not. I fell the floor with blood everywhere, the room nothing but a continuous transformation, and I was screaming and crying. I was literally choking in my own cry.

-NO, NO, JUST FUCKING NO. STOP CHANGING, PLEASE. PLEASE STOP, YOU FUCKING…SORRY SON A FUCKING... NO. NO PLEASE!

My screaming turned into sobbing. I woke up in tears and ran the fuck away from the TV room. In the kitchen my mom had gotten home from work and was placing groceries in the fridge. She didn’t look at me but I began anyways.

-Mom, I can't sleep. You won’t believe the kind of dream I just had. I am so scared!
Like a door slowly closing she turns her head to me, her eyes wide open and bloodshot.
-No you didn’t.
She replies in a monotonic voice. I am still dreaming and my heart jumps out of my body.

In tears I wake up a final time. I’m looking at the TV and that 70’s show is playing. I check my phone and it reads 16.04. I have received a text from my boyfriend that reads: wake up. I’m not even sure if I am awake this time and as fast as my legs could bare, run up the stairs to my room, and close the door. Wretched and cold sweaty I swear to never fall asleep again.

10.11.09 @ 02:51
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So I have this friend (I swear its not me, i have a boyfriend whom i am crazy about. anywhoo..) and she’s looking for love. Okay, that's putting it mildly. She is a huntress on the prowl for ‘that’ guy. You know- the guy that will smoothly flick off the anchors keeping her earthbound so she can happily have her head in the clouds. We can all relate to that right? Love gives us wings. Love is the soothing balm for a battered heart. Love is what makes the world go round. Love puts the fizz in our carbonated lives-I made that one up but you get the picture. The only problem-and like all good stories there is a problem-my friend is too smart. Intelligence is her kryptonite. At least in the category of love. Put her up against a panel of lawyers and the girl could argue her way all the way to…well wherever she would go if she were to battled a panel of lawyers. The point is the girl has smarts and it is not doing her a bit of good in the battlefield of love (that one’s not mine).

She has a guy in her life and she has gotten into the habit of dissecting every conversation, glance, meal, the number of times he blinks -you get the picture. Now I like to be as aware as the next girl but there comes a time when you need to just relax. Its like those horrible mosaic pictures that make no sense until you stare at it with unfocused eyes. Only then do you see the real picture hidden inside. It’s possible to get so caught up in determining if the guy you want is into you, you forget to enjoy the wonderful ride of discovery and flirtation. Over thinking can make a sane girl detour at breakdown and end up lost in crazy.

Lets all fall hard for the guy of our (current) dreams; it’s so very fun and passes the time nicely but remember one thing: boys are just not clued in. While we obsess over every smile casually tossed in our direction they continue on oblivious. Of course that’s a good thing because if they knew what went on in our conniving and manipulative brains they would run screaming in the opposite direction.

7.11.09 @ 22:28
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6.11.09 @ 16:49
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