I find myself thinking one thing only to say another. Or saying something and doing the opposite. Does anyone live an authentic life or is everyone cardboard? Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered who stared back at you? Am I the only one who feels like a stranger in her own body? Is it possible? How lonely.

I want to say I love you when the thought enters my head. I want to tell that girl how much better she would look if she cut her hair. I don’t like my mom’s eyeshadow. I think I want to be famous. I don’t want to shop with mroe than one friend at a time and I like going to the movies by myself. I am a shell of thoughts and feelings with no core to anchor me. Where is truth? What happened to authenticity?

I know the secret. I’ve met people who live out thier lives with genuine feeling. They have a decided heart and live each moment with the knowledge their destiny is assured. How wonderful, yet it seems so unattainable. If you fear the criticism of others your life will reflect your insecurities.

My purpose lay before me. A becon in my shuttered life. Will I dare step out and claim my confidence? Perhaps if I repeat this mantra:

To avoid the criticism of others, be nothing and do nothing.